Diary of A Broken Nation
by ItalyxTheWorld
Summary: Italy Deals with Germany's dramatic change of character. It hurts him. Will He find true love in Germany or will someone else capture his heart? "He told me im ugly because my eyes are not blue and my skin isn't pale. Ludwig is beautiful. At least I think so. Hes so strong and i feel safe when he holds me. I love everything about him. Maybe he is perfect? Am I ugly? I feel ugly."
1. A Broken Nation 1

**Okay This is pretty Heavy. I'm hoping it goes somewhere.** **Its Short Kinda like a preview of the idea its self Thanks for reading ;3**

**Italy: Ve! This is going to be fun!**

**Germany..**

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Italy sat on a plain looking bed, bent over a small book, his Aburn hair diseveled and his tan skin covered in deep bruises, the most server being around

his neck. He Scribbled hasitly in the book infront of him

_ "I love Germany. I love him so much. I'm hurting Ever since this war started he's started to say mean mean things to me! He told me i'm ugly because my eyes are not blue and my skin isn't pale. Ludwig is beautiful. At least I think so. Hes so strong and i feel safe when he holds me. I love everything about him. Maybe he is perfect? Am I ugly? I feel ugly. He told me i'm fat too. I've stopped eating pasta. I can't even look in the mirror without feeling sick at what i see. I just wanna throw up. I'm Fat Fat Fat. I cant eat anymore I want to be perfect for Germany. How can i thou.. I'm so fat and I cant change the colors I was born with. I hate it. I hate me.. I can't Go to the next world meeting. I miss my brothers but i cant let them see me. They'll take me away from Germany when they see the bruises. But i deserved them. If he hits me enough it might make me better He beats me because he cares about me. That's it. Maybe if he hits me hard enough Ill die and be reborn perfect. I love Germany. I Love Love. Love him. I let Him pour a bleach on my arm. It burned so so bad, and it only lightened my skin a little, eating parts of it away. That's why he choked me.."_

He pause bringing his hand up to his neck lightly brushing his fingers across the damaged skin. Tapping the pen against the paper deep in thought.

_ "..because my skin refused to listen to him and change white."_

He stopped again feeling the shooting pain in his back. Tears begin to gather in his hazed honey brown eyes.

_".. Thats why he rapes me.. Because he loves me.. It was my first time. It hurt so badly and it didnt feel at all like brother france said it would 'A beautiful coming together of two people showing the love they have for each other' Like Romano and Spain? I only wish i was that lucky. It makes me feel Dirty Slut. Hes calls the that to.. He made me sleep with Russia to...Mio Dio.. Who am I?.. ..It wasnt always like this. I remeber the good times when the war first started, our goal was to do somthing great, to change the world for the better. Germany, Japan, Prussia and Me. I thought my Fratellos would be so proud that 'Hetalia' could be apart of somthing so . Now i bet there ashamed of me..Romano..Spain..France..Im ashamed of me to. Im so ugly and useless. But i dont wanna die. I wanna live and make myself somthing you can be proud of.. Germany can be proud of.. That mean ill have to be stricter with myself.. Yeah. *sigh* Germany Germany Germany..."_

He contiued writing the last word until the last bit of the front and the entire back of the page he had been writing on was filled. He let out a small sigh

and layed back, resting his hurting body and closing his eyes for a moment before slipping the book back under his pillow. The Door Slammed open and in

the doorway stood none other than Germany. Italy couldn't Help but shiver a little as the Taller man approched...

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**Soo What did you think? Whats in store for our dear Italy next chapter? **

**Should I even do a next chapter xD? This is my second try at a story I know it isn't that great yet.**

**And Should there be actual Sex or just leave it implied? Tips for my writing? And There are going to be **

**serveral Italy pairing in this story. Who do you wanna see him with :D?**

**Italy: -Whimpers hiding in a bush- That wasn't fun at all..**

**Germany: -Pissed- NEIN! ITALIA I VULD NEVER**


	2. Germanys Shame 2

**Oh Wow! I cant thank you guys enough for all the support! I started fanfiction feeling pretty akward because 1. Id never written any of my ideas and 2 most of my ideas are just out there and weird. But you've all been ones even commented on my awful grammer! which I toally appricate. Im loving the reviews im getting on all my stories.(working on sweet tea atm) there totally inspiring me to write! Im going to try to incorporate everyones ideas into the story some how~ Not promising itll be big but im trying~ keep the glorious reviews coming x3**

**Hope you guys like this chapter!**

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Germany hovered at the door for a moment, taking in the sight before him. Italy was laid out before him, belly down, with his head turned back toward him, his honey eyes half focased as they rested on his form. He was mildly suprised when the other remain quiet as he approched the plain bed. Before he had screamed, cried, begged him to be left alone. The memory made his heart twitch in his chest. A feeling of guilt slowly spreading threw him. But this was enough to stop him. Italy just turned over gingerly and allowed him to do as he pleased.

Which he did...

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He sat down on the edge of the bed his 'Best Friend' adjusting his uniform and slicking his hair back. The words in his left a dry taste in his mouth. _'What right do i have to call him friend.. let alone best friend.'_ He thought feeling his stomach churn as he examine the smaller nation warily. His Aburn hair fell loose around his scuffed up face framing his normally dazzling eyes which were faded pitifully. The Italian nations body was bruised nearly head to toe, each dark purple spot blossoming on the smooth tan skin many accompanied by a scrape or welt.

It made him feel sick.

_ 'I did this to him'_ His lips turned downwards in a tight line and he chewed on his chapped lip when his eyes fell upon the other mans legs. The inside of them was were the worst of the injuries were. Two sets of hand prints were marked into his skin. One belonged to Russia, to whom he had traded a night with the italian for in return for signing a non aggressional pact, which was essentail for Germany to gain headway in the war.

The frown deepend as a thought ran through his mind

_'Russia is the biggest country in the world'_

It must have hurt. And the other Belonged to himself. Ludwig buried his face in his hands ashamed. Hurting Italy was the last thing he wanted to do. Like it or not he felt something deep for the strange country.. He had said_ 'Ich leibe Dich'_ that day and he hadnt meant it lightly. _'I dont know whats wrong with me.. its like i cant control myself..I..Im a monster for doing this to harmless sweet pasta eating Feliciano.'_

He was brought out of his Gloomy thoughts by something that hurt him more than a bullet ever could. He felt thin graceful arms wrap gently around himself. He looked down at the man half expecting him to punch him for tell him how much he hated him, but all that was there was a small smile.. for him.. after everything he had done to the small man currently holding him. Tears gathered in the german mans eyes as the frail looking man seemed to be struggling to form words. Softly Feliciano mouthed something familer.. Germany watched intently trying to make sense of the small sounds falling on his lips. He froze when Italy finally choked out what he was trying to say and buried himself in the germans chest. _"T-Ti Amo"_ He held the Small man tightly to himself the tears in his eyes falling where the other couldnt see.

His mind echoed _'Ich Leibe Dich'_ He tried to repeat those words, but nothing came out The german man yelled at himself in his own mind _'Tell him! Tell Him Damn it! He needs you!'_

Another voice in his head seemed to laugh before replying _'He is nothing more than an inferior slut' _His body listened to the other voice pushing the man he loves backwards on the blood stained sheets and delivering a swift punch to the other mans chest. Ludwigs heart broke as he heard the sickining crack as a rib broke under his fist. And before he could stifle the madness over taking him the words left his mouth

_'I hate you.' _

The italian was groaning holding his chest his eyes going duller with what must have been awful pain. With that he rose quickly exiting the room and retreating to his office. He began to chuckle as he went through the paper work. But inside he was dying.

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Italys lips curled into a small smile as soon as he caught his breath. He dug under his pillow pulling out the book he had been writing in previously, careful not to over tax his new injuries as he scribble down something on the next page _ 'Germany really must love me. He was gentler this time. I closed my eyes for a moment and imagined none of this was happening and that he was making love to me tenderly."_ After writting these words he felt himself sink into darkness and the book and pen dropped to his chest as the world slowly faded.

Going unnoticed was a pair of crimson red eyes peeking through the door.

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**o-o oh mah! what will happen next. turn in next time to find out ~ ;-;**

**Italy: *hiding in a bush* *locks bush"**

**Germany:Nooo!**


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